You enjoyed sitting on your father’s lap…
A poem from the You tear us series
you enjoyed sitting on your father’s lap
you enjoyed pressing your cheek to his jacket
the softness of the wool, the tenderness of his eyes
welcomed you
like a dog sled wandering on the plain
find the light of fire
a log cabin, a teepee, or a yurt
you sat on the brother’s lap
and stuck your cheek to his jacket
the roughness of the wool, the treachery of his eyes
seized you
like a dog sled lost on the plain
penetrates a shelter and finds a demon
no longer did you sit on the father’s lap
no longer did you press your cheek to his jacket
the softness of the wool, the tenderness of his eyes
terrified you
on your dog sled lost on the plain
you roped your heart solid in fleeing the demon
N.B.: that poem is part of a series I am writing on the abuse of my
grandmother, my mother, and me. I am exploring how sexual trauma was transferred and amplified from one generation to the other. You might be interested in A letter to my abused grandma here on Medium.
